These posts are my little monthly check-in, maybe even a diary type posts. Wassup with me this month? Where am I going in life? How am I feeling? I think its therapeutic to just release every month and I thought I would do this on my blog and inspire people to share a little about themselves with me. So yeah, here’s to run-on sentences and lots of rambling. Cheers!
July, July, July. Honestly, I’ve never taken so many L’s in one month before and it took a major major toll on me mentally. Many things went wrong, many unexpected expenses came about, lots of doctor visits, lots of stress. My boyfriend and I were playing to move to Mexico but due to ALOT of, let’s just say technical difficulties we can’t do that now. Not a big deal right? Wrong. Because we already gave up our lease on our apartment which is up on the 18th of August and we have yet as I’m writing this found another apartment yet. Stressful? Yes. Impossible? Not to a boss like me right? Right! Even though I’m extremely disappointed that I couldn’t make my barbacoa taco dreams come true just yet, the fantasy hasn’t faded yet. We’re gonna regroup and try again. When? TBD
One of the main things that I want to talk about during this life update is fear. Something that comes to me often but always feels unfamiliar. There isn’t much I’m actually afraid of but as a human, our fears and doubts come to visit us to talk us out of being courageous. Unfortunately, my fears and doubts took over my mental space pretty much this whole month. Better late than never though I’m back on my blog, I’m practicing with my tarot cards, and I’m prepping for my Youtube channel (coming soon, real soon). Whenever I get fearful I take off my shirt and I stare in the mirror…hear me out lol there’s a story here. When I was 17 I begged my mom for ANOTHER tattoo, I got FEARLESS tatted under my collarbone. It was representative of me doing what I wanted with my life and doing things that people didn’t expect of me because at 17 I wasn’t scared of anything, anyone, any challenge. That tattoo reminds me of that feeling every time I look at it. I tell myself “Boss up bitch! What you doing out here?” You should try it the next time you’re doubting yourself I promise it works lol.
I made a lot of promises to myself at the start of the year and I know we’ve all seen the “u got 6 months left in the year blah blah blah blah” memes all over the internet. It’s so true. Finish out the year strong. Step all on your fears, spit on them, and then step over them and never look back because who has the time sis?? Let’s finish out the year strong together guys.
I’m purposely not sharing any goals or anything like that here on my blog anymore. Mostly because I have a journal for that now and I want to make those things a little more personal and more private but you’ll be able to see what I’m up to and what I’m trying to accomplish as the months unfold. One thing I will share though is that I WILL USE THIS BLOG. It makes me so happy to write on my blog and when I’m not using it I feel a little guilty and empty and I crave a creative outlet. So I will combat those negative emotions by committing to blog and committing to anyone who might read my blog. I’m always filled with gratitude for those of you who always read my blog. Also next time I make a post like this I’ll have more photos to show yall! Okay, enough rambling. Holla at ya girl later!
What fears are you conquering at the close of 2019? Let me know in the comments below!